oinkflap: RT @PAT_E_ROCK: Tan, niii, aaa, even, ix, ivee, or, tree, ta, un... Apppy Dooo Eaaaar! --Dick Clark

oinkflap: @superduperkewl Hey! where'd you go?

oinkflap: My neighbor just found a gray pubic hair. Or she's being murdered. It's hard to say.

oinkflap: @Wambulance810 @JPHaddadio said I should see you for a goof time. Mighta been a typo idunno.

oinkflap: You're dreming of a White Christmas? All I want is a dry trash day.

oinkflap: I asked my girlfriend to give the dog a treat. She blew him. Must be his birthday.

oinkflap: RT @gneicco: Holy cow! I think I got a mosquito bite, and it's winter. Oh, wait. Scratch that.

oinkflap: You're not really socially awkward until you're socially awkward on twitter.

oinkflap: This tweet is closed captioned for the visually impaired. THIS TWEET IS CLOSED CAPTIONED FOR THE VISUALLY IMPAIRED.

oinkflap: If there's anything creepier than a middle aged man hitting on his 20 year old niece's girlfriends, I'm just going to have to try harder.